A Listening Heart

I vividly remember a conversation where I was offered the gift of being listened to. I was meeting this person from a different culture for the very first time. And a casual conversation turned out to be profound. She asked me questions with gracious curiosity and honored me as a person. She was listening to me for my sake. Much later, I found out that she was a Spiritual Accompanier (Director). I am grateful to have received the gift of her accompaniment for nearly 8 years now. Anne Long, in her classic book Listening, writes, “Listening is a footwashing ministry, in the first place to do with attitudes rather than skills – availability, compassion, belief in people – knowing from our own experience what being heard can do for us.” (p.35)¹ In that conversation, I had been offered the ministry of listening.

Footwashing is a humbling experience – both for the one who washes the feet, and the one whose feet are being washed. In the tribal village where we served, every time my husband and I visited a local church, we were welcomed by the washing of our feet. No matter how much we objected, our tribal friends insisted on washing our feet. We finally gave in because it felt like, by not allowing them to wash our feet, we were refusing to be a part of them. Silencing the thumping in our hearts, we would nimbly offer our feet to be washed and dried. A few months before we handed over the school we had begun in the community, my husband felt led to wash the feet of our tribal teachers (all men) who had labored with us over the years. It was a sacred moment – a celebration of what God had accomplished in partnership with us.

Jesus showed us by example of washing the feet of those whom he served. By washing the feet of his disciples, he showed us what it means to receive the ones we serve or minister to with an open heart. Listening to someone is a beautiful ministry. To do that with a hospitable heart, one must also receive the gift of listening in a safe community. The Father, Son, and the Spirit offer that community. When we grow in our sense of our own belovedness and in our awareness of listening to him for ourselves, we grow in our capacity to listen to our triune God for others. Our Spiritual directors, supervisors, and perhaps good friends offer safe community. Through their listening, they help keep us dependent and grounded in God. We receive God's grace through their words of affirmation, challenge, and realignment.

When we enter safe community to share of ourselves, we receive the gift of having our feet washed and the boundaries of our hearts enlarged. When we listen to others with that gracious and open heart, we offer to wash their feet with love. Listening, then, becomes sacred, a holy moment, a partnership with the Triune God.

1. What invitations do you sense as you read the above?
2. What grace memories come to mind?
3. What resistance do you feel?

1. _{Long, A. (1990). Listening. Darton, Longman & Todd.}