A Call to Witness
Oct 14
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Amy Brady
When she shared with me that it had taken a decade to share the trauma she experienced, I asked her what the story was behind not wanting to share.
Because there is always a story behind wanting to hide our pain.
Splagchnizomai means:
"to be moved as to one's bowels, hence to be moved with compassion, have compassion (for the bowels were thought to be the seat of love and pity)."
Because they need a witness.
Witnessing and welcoming stories and tears without needing the directee to process it or apply it to some greater meaning in their life, gives them worth in the exact spaces of their heart where they have been rejected, denounced, abandoned, and made to feel like a burden. What is needed is the willingness of another to hold those stories and tears as the holy ground they are.
Because there is always a story behind wanting to hide our pain.
The pain she felt was enormous, but carrying the pain and shame within herself became a burden almost as heavy. The fear of not being believed and blamed for the pain was the story behind the silence. When she finally shared, her fear was realized when the one who should have held her harmed her with shame. As if the blow of trauma isn't enough, sharing your story and not having it believed can be the blow that silences you forever.
When I first became a Spiritual Director, it took me a while to learn the balance between listening and responding. I wanted my directees to feel seen and to feel the sessions were worth their time and finances.
In training to become a Spiritual Director, I had a wise Supervisor who always encouraged me to pay attention to the tears of my directee. He encouraged me that when tears became present, there was a story not too far behind. If you move too fast, you may miss the moment that could be a turning point not only for the directee but also for the director. This brief moment held potential information regarding the needs the directee was carrying. I was invited to stay in the moment and extend an invitation to my directee to do the same.
Once, in a session with my own Spiritual Director, I came to such a moment. Tears sprung from my eyes like a waterfall of pain. She beautifully and courageously rested in that moment with me. I was met with an audible and visible empathy.
It was a turning point not only in my own journey as a directee but also as a director. I realized what she gave me that day was a sense of "being with" that was missing in many relationships throughout my life.
She had become my witness.
Deeply missing in my life journey was the beautiful, wonderful soul gift of witnessing.
Spiritual Direction is witnessing at its finest. As a director, I can listen and ask great questions of my directee, but if I cannot sit with them in their pain, with nothing to contribute but my love-anchored silence and pregnant ache for the pain they carry, I am not only missing what it means to be the Body of Christ to them, I am missing what it means to embody the compassion of Christ.
“Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they could see, and so they followed Him.”- Matthew 20:34 (The Voice)
Being witnessed by His love in such a profound way compelled those with whom He had compassion to follow Him. Notice that Jesus’ compassion precedes the help He gave.
The Greek word splagchnizomai, translated in Matthew 20:34 to the word compassion, tells us that Jesus was somatically moved by the pain of others.
Splagchnizomai means:
"to be moved as to one's bowels, hence to be moved with compassion, have compassion (for the bowels were thought to be the seat of love and pity)."
Witnessing is a type of listening that enables me to be a presence of compassion for another on behalf of Jesus.
I am often asked, “Why do people come to spiritual direction?”
Because they need a witness.
Yes, many are looking for answers or discernment about their circumstances. Sure, some want to know if they are doing the Christian life "right." And, of course, many more see it as an investment in their spiritual growth.
But behind every one of those reasons exists a story. Stories that have shaped them and guided them many times without their awareness. Stories that still act as rudders to the ship of their life. These stories lay unresolved within their bodies and their hearts often because they have no others to listen to those stories and watch the tears fall, without an opinion or an agenda of some kind.
Their stories have yet to be witnessed and have rarely been welcomed.
Witnessing and welcoming stories and tears without needing the directee to process it or apply it to some greater meaning in their life, gives them worth in the exact spaces of their heart where they have been rejected, denounced, abandoned, and made to feel like a burden. What is needed is the willingness of another to hold those stories and tears as the holy ground they are.
Witnessing unburdens another.
When I approach my spiritual direction practice as an act of witnessing, it is much less about being a stellar spiritual director and more about the magical simplicity of merely showing up for another and creating and holding space for whatever they need to bring, however they need to bring it.
To witness another is to allow oneself to become a container to hold what another needs help holding. There is such beauty to be found in offering oneself in this way. As I am a container for holding another, the Spirit is the container holding me. Being a container for others makes having our own Spiritual Director and Supervisor an even more crucial practice to continue. As we authentically walk with others, our offerings will be more well-rounded when we not only experience being a witness but also being witnessed ourselves.
For when we feel seen, we desire for others to be seen as well.
For when we feel seen, we desire for others to be seen as well.
Amy Brady
Amy is the founder of Evergreen Soul Wellness, a spiritual wellness LLC, that combines her passions and experience of two decades of ministry into one place. Early in ministry she was a professional women’s speaker, author of eight Bible studies, and an Advent devotional.
Today she is a Spiritual Director, a Guide for The Spiritual Exercises, and a content contributor with The Yoga Abbey, where she combines her passions of spiritual direction, contemplative practice, and writing about the practice of embodied faith.
Amy is a wife of over thirty years, Mom to five hilarious humans ranging in ages from 29 to 12. Her new favorite role is Mimi to her grand joys.In reality she resides in Orlando, but in her head she lives in London, sipping on tea and planning her next travel adventure.
https://linktr.ee/EvergreenSoulWellness
Amy is the founder of Evergreen Soul Wellness, a spiritual wellness LLC, that combines her passions and experience of two decades of ministry into one place. Early in ministry she was a professional women’s speaker, author of eight Bible studies, and an Advent devotional.
Today she is a Spiritual Director, a Guide for The Spiritual Exercises, and a content contributor with The Yoga Abbey, where she combines her passions of spiritual direction, contemplative practice, and writing about the practice of embodied faith.
Amy is a wife of over thirty years, Mom to five hilarious humans ranging in ages from 29 to 12. Her new favorite role is Mimi to her grand joys.In reality she resides in Orlando, but in her head she lives in London, sipping on tea and planning her next travel adventure.
https://linktr.ee/EvergreenSoulWellness
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