The Thread
May 25
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Sharon Conley Cottingham
In The Princess and the Goblin, George MacDonald weaves the tale of a sweet young princess named Irene who discovers her great-great-grandmother residing in a hidden room in the recesses of their castle. The tale is full of drama and dangers, but in every situation, Princess Irene’s grandmother is present to calm, comfort, and rescue.
The little princess returns from a particularly fearsome adventure to the warmth of her white-haired grandmother. That kindly woman embraces her, slides a ring onto her finger, and to that ring attaches a thread—thread the grandmother had been weaving on her grand loom. The grandmother assures the little princess that no matter where she ventures, she can find her way home to her grandmother’s embrace by simply feeling and following that thread.
As I conversed with a directee recently, I saw evidence of that thread. We’ll call that directee Mike. As a teen, Mike had encountered Jesus in a life-altering way. Like many who experienced the swell of new awareness in the Jesus movement of the 1970’s, he had what he self-described as a radical conversion experience. A deep inner knowing, intertwined with youthful enthusiasm and communal energy, to initiate an experience of the Holy, both unforgettable and deeply impactful. It was life-changing. It shaped his friendships, his social life, his political views, even his vocational choices.
But years later, the warmth and explosive energy generated by that experience dulled. The joy of it had been swallowed up by growing agitation toward a particular Christian subculture, the ache of relational rifts, persistent doubt, and considerable anger. Mike was distraught as he described the searing pain of his disillusionment. He expressed certainty that he had permanently lost connection with that life-altering encounter with Jesus. He expressed deep doubt that the experience could even be trusted as valid. Mike found himself surprised and fearful of the shifts in his own thinking. Once at ease in his long-held beliefs, he was now in deep conflict with the images of Jesus and understanding of God he had readily embraced following that life-altering encounter.
What surfaced the most complex collection of feelings in Mike was his reflection on that experience of what he named “conversion”. “What was that?” Mike repeated that question multiple times. “What was that?” “What actually happened back then?” And Mike expressed longing—longing for something that he struggled to name about that life-altering experience.
Mike’s experience is not unique. Yes, his version of that story has specific details and nuances that are distinct to him, but many seeking Spiritual Direction come with a similar story. What did indeed happen at that moment of life-altering change? Was it merely youthful enthusiasm, the persuasion of a crowd, altered hormones, or could it be that the experience offered some real connection with the Holy? A manifestation, if you will, of the presence of Divine Love, an opening to the world beyond what we can see with our eyes. And what happened beyond that initial life-altering experience? So much of life’s dangers and dramas flowed in, and for Mike, a grasping to build a tent around this transfiguring experience, to build a particular life around it.
I invited Mike to speak to his younger self about that life-altering experience, to speak from the tender heart of a kind, white-haired, great-great-grandmother. What surfaced was a fond recollection of the joy of it, the sense of newness, the full-body conviction that a reality greater than oneself energized the world.
Breathing into that memory, Mike began to relax. I then asked Mike to name experiences in his adult life in which he had noticed a similar joy, a sense of newness, a full-body conviction that something larger was breathing life into the earth, into his life. Examples of this were slow to come initially, covered as they were by myriad disappointments and skepticism. But once examples came, they flowed.
The recent joy discovered in nature photography, the feeling of the wind on his face while he biked with his Saturday riding club, and the opportunity ahead to spend more time with his young adult son. All of these examples of vitality and life bore a similarity to what Mike had earlier named a youthful conversion experience. It was something that offered an infusion of what was grand and good amidst a sea of life challenges. It was something worth treasuring. Something that led to a wild and grand adventure fraught with its own dramas and dangers. An initial awareness of the thread of connection to Divine Love.
The path of a long journey of faith is bound to be circuitous, fraught with dramas and dangers and joys--perhaps even utter upheavals. Along the way, however, for those who have eyes to see, exist evidences of the thread connecting us to Divine Love. That Love shows up in a wide variety of forms, some wildly unfamiliar and often threatening to our prescribed ways of understanding. Many are the moments of conversion, though, where a way is opened to see things anew through the eyes of that wise, white-haired, loving great-great-grandmother.
Sharon Conley Cottingham
Sharon’s faith journey has been shaped by a love for expansive spaces. It’s a journey that has consistently taken her to new and surprising places. Rooted in the Christian tradition, her faith is energized by mindfulness-based compassion practices, breath and body work, and a contemplative way of being in the world.
She holds a B.S. in Secondary Education from Penn State University, an M.A. in theology from Regent College (Vancouver, B.C.), and both a Certificate and DMin in Spiritual Direction from Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. She is also a graduate of Shalem’s Soul of Leadership program.
Sharon makes her home in Nashville, TN with spouse Stephen and two well-loved Maltipoos. She is also primary caregiver to her older sister, Janet, who lives just a mile away.
Find out more about Sharon on her website.
https://www.sharonconleycottingham.com/
Sharon’s faith journey has been shaped by a love for expansive spaces. It’s a journey that has consistently taken her to new and surprising places. Rooted in the Christian tradition, her faith is energized by mindfulness-based compassion practices, breath and body work, and a contemplative way of being in the world.
She holds a B.S. in Secondary Education from Penn State University, an M.A. in theology from Regent College (Vancouver, B.C.), and both a Certificate and DMin in Spiritual Direction from Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary. She is also a graduate of Shalem’s Soul of Leadership program.
Sharon makes her home in Nashville, TN with spouse Stephen and two well-loved Maltipoos. She is also primary caregiver to her older sister, Janet, who lives just a mile away.
Find out more about Sharon on her website.
https://www.sharonconleycottingham.com/
