Three Questions
Apr 25
/
Alaine Thomson Buchanan
Spring is here. The grass is green, the bees are buzzing, and the pollen is bright yellow in my corner of the world. We are in the throes of the Easter season as we move towards Pentecost, which is followed by Ordinary time. This is the time of year when excitement for the end of the school year is greeted by more sun in the evening hours (depending on where one lives), the shifting of colder weather clothes to warmer weather clothes (including the releasing of outgrown clothes and obtaining newer clothes for those who are still growing), and preparation for the summer, which will be here before we know it. More sunlight invites longer and deeper conversations, some of which may prompt us to hold a bit more space for others in our normal, everyday conversations.
The majority of the people in my life, including myself, have a high capacity to hold and carry what others bring to us in conversation, yet we sometimes do not realize when we have entered a space where we cannot listen, hold, or carry anymore until we have met or exceeded our capacity.
With the greater sunlight and potential for deeper and longer conversations, I would like to try something with you that I practice on my own. I have tried with a few of my directees when we find ourselves coming close to, reaching, or extending beyond our capacity.
This is where our three questions come into play:
1) What belongs to God to carry?
2) What belongs to God and me to carry?
3) What belongs to me to carry?
We will ask these questions a bit later in our exercise, yet it is important to know where we are going.
I invite you to join me in this exercise:
1) On a piece of paper, take a few moments to write down a list of what comes to mind when you consider what you are personally carrying. This list can include anything from something that needs to be accomplished to a relationship (work-related or personal), to a situation that needs to be resolved, to a challenge you are experiencing, to concerns others have brought to your attention.
2) Do a body scan followed by a few deep breaths.
3) Go to a space in your mind and heart that brings you peace or joy…and remain in that space for a short while.
4) After a few moments, you notice someone walking up to you and realize it is God. God smiles, calls you by name and asks you to share whatever is on your heart and mind today.
5) You look at the list in your hand, pick one or two concerns, and ask God, “What belongs to you to carry? What belongs to you and me to carry? What belongs to me to carry?” and then listen.
a. These three questions are crucial because they help us realize how much we truly are carrying. Our bodies and souls tend to speak loud and clear when we choose to listen.
b. In this step, we may realize some concerns are really hard to hand over to God, especially if we have been holding them on our own for a time. Other concerns may also be hard to carry, regardless of whether they are ours to personally carry or belong to God and us to carry together.
c. Because of this, if I (or my directee) do not know how to hand a concern over to God, how to hold a concern that both God and I (or they) are carrying, or how to carry the burdens that belong to me (or them) in a healthy manner, it is good to ask God 1) how to hand what belongs to God over to God, 2) how to accept what belongs to God and me to carry together, 3) how to carry what is mine to bear, and 4) how to let some things go. The questions, “How should I do this? What could this look like?” are quite helpful, and then listen again for an answer.
6) When one or two or “all the things” on the list have been addressed, take a few moments to remain in God’s presence, thanking God for the time God has shared with you, expressing gratefulness for this space that brings peace or joy, and thanking your mind, heart, and body for their willingness to engage in this space.
7) Return back to your physical space, doing a grounding exercise or two to reorient yourself, if you would like to do so.
I do this once every couple of months for myself (sometimes more often), and I’ve noticed that, over time, some of the initial concerns I bring into my conversation with God shift. What is mine to carry sometimes moves into a “God and me” carry or a “God” carry. Some things are eventually let go.
Doing this exercise, asking these three questions, has helped me be more present and aware of how God is at work in, through, for, and around me…and it has helped me gain a greater understanding of how I can be present in the spaces where God has asked me to be active. It has done something similar for my directees, too. May it do the same for you!
The majority of the people in my life, including myself, have a high capacity to hold and carry what others bring to us in conversation, yet we sometimes do not realize when we have entered a space where we cannot listen, hold, or carry anymore until we have met or exceeded our capacity.
With the greater sunlight and potential for deeper and longer conversations, I would like to try something with you that I practice on my own. I have tried with a few of my directees when we find ourselves coming close to, reaching, or extending beyond our capacity.
This is where our three questions come into play:
1) What belongs to God to carry?
2) What belongs to God and me to carry?
3) What belongs to me to carry?
We will ask these questions a bit later in our exercise, yet it is important to know where we are going.
I invite you to join me in this exercise:
1) On a piece of paper, take a few moments to write down a list of what comes to mind when you consider what you are personally carrying. This list can include anything from something that needs to be accomplished to a relationship (work-related or personal), to a situation that needs to be resolved, to a challenge you are experiencing, to concerns others have brought to your attention.
2) Do a body scan followed by a few deep breaths.
3) Go to a space in your mind and heart that brings you peace or joy…and remain in that space for a short while.
4) After a few moments, you notice someone walking up to you and realize it is God. God smiles, calls you by name and asks you to share whatever is on your heart and mind today.
5) You look at the list in your hand, pick one or two concerns, and ask God, “What belongs to you to carry? What belongs to you and me to carry? What belongs to me to carry?” and then listen.
a. These three questions are crucial because they help us realize how much we truly are carrying. Our bodies and souls tend to speak loud and clear when we choose to listen.
b. In this step, we may realize some concerns are really hard to hand over to God, especially if we have been holding them on our own for a time. Other concerns may also be hard to carry, regardless of whether they are ours to personally carry or belong to God and us to carry together.
c. Because of this, if I (or my directee) do not know how to hand a concern over to God, how to hold a concern that both God and I (or they) are carrying, or how to carry the burdens that belong to me (or them) in a healthy manner, it is good to ask God 1) how to hand what belongs to God over to God, 2) how to accept what belongs to God and me to carry together, 3) how to carry what is mine to bear, and 4) how to let some things go. The questions, “How should I do this? What could this look like?” are quite helpful, and then listen again for an answer.
6) When one or two or “all the things” on the list have been addressed, take a few moments to remain in God’s presence, thanking God for the time God has shared with you, expressing gratefulness for this space that brings peace or joy, and thanking your mind, heart, and body for their willingness to engage in this space.
7) Return back to your physical space, doing a grounding exercise or two to reorient yourself, if you would like to do so.
I do this once every couple of months for myself (sometimes more often), and I’ve noticed that, over time, some of the initial concerns I bring into my conversation with God shift. What is mine to carry sometimes moves into a “God and me” carry or a “God” carry. Some things are eventually let go.
Doing this exercise, asking these three questions, has helped me be more present and aware of how God is at work in, through, for, and around me…and it has helped me gain a greater understanding of how I can be present in the spaces where God has asked me to be active. It has done something similar for my directees, too. May it do the same for you!
Alaine Buchanan
Alaine Buchanan is an ordained minister, spiritual director, an active duty Army chaplain's spouse and a mom. She holds a PhD in Second Temple Literature and History and also teaches Biblical Studies (including history, theology and world religions) at both the graduate and undergraduate levels.
Alaine is the Dean of the College of Graduate and Professional Studies and Dean of Digital Education at North Central University in Minneapolis, MN. She has received certification in trauma care through the Allender Center and in Spiritual Direction through the Companioning Center.
In spiritual direction, Alaine loves to walk alongside those who are journeying through liminal spaces. She specializes in discernment, integration healing, focusing, spiritual formation practices and group spiritual direction.
She is a fan of tea, chocolate, and all the Seattle sports teams. She can be found on Facebook, Instagram and LInkedin.
Alaine Buchanan is an ordained minister, spiritual director, an active duty Army chaplain's spouse and a mom. She holds a PhD in Second Temple Literature and History and also teaches Biblical Studies (including history, theology and world religions) at both the graduate and undergraduate levels.
Alaine is the Dean of the College of Graduate and Professional Studies and Dean of Digital Education at North Central University in Minneapolis, MN. She has received certification in trauma care through the Allender Center and in Spiritual Direction through the Companioning Center.
In spiritual direction, Alaine loves to walk alongside those who are journeying through liminal spaces. She specializes in discernment, integration healing, focusing, spiritual formation practices and group spiritual direction.
She is a fan of tea, chocolate, and all the Seattle sports teams. She can be found on Facebook, Instagram and LInkedin.
